Chapter 2.18 - Shattered

This is post 2 of 4 posted on May 3, 2019.

Beckett always felt free when he was on the soccer field. When he was out here, he didn’t have to smile or be nice. He could just play.

Right now, though, he was cursing himself for ever shooting that first goal. If he'd never played, he wouldn't feel like this now.

He knew that wasn't something he would ever say if he was thinking straight, but he wasn't thinking straight. He was currently in so much pain it was a wonderful he could string together a coherent thought. Until today, he'd thought he had a high pain tolerance. He knew better now. It felt like someone had put spiky lava inside his knee. That was a terrible comparison, but he wasn't very poetic at the best of times, and to reiterate - this was definitely not the best of times.

He wasn't entirely sure where he was or what was happening. He had a decent idea of how it had happened. He'd been running down the field. The ball flew directly into his knee. There was a cracking sound, then Beckett fell forward, directly onto his injured knee.

Since then, someone, he wasn't sure who, had flipped him onto his back. He’d blacked out once or twice, he was pretty sure.

People surrounded him, speaking constantly. He picked up snatches of their conversation through his haze of pain.

“Ambulance… do you think… knee… looks awful… again… where… get on with it… “

Beckett closed his eyes and focused on breathing. In… then out… in… out. He had no idea how much time passed before the ambulance got there. He had no sense of anything other than his own body, and even then, he barely processed the movement of the ambulance. He just kept breathing. In… then out. In… out… in… out. Just keep breathing.

He was vaguely aware that his father was next to him in the ambulance, murmuring reassurances that didn’t really matter. He didn’t have the brain capacity to think about them at the moment. He just had to keep breathing and try not to pass out again.

When they got to the hospital, they put him in a room. The doctor came in. Looked at his knee. Talked to his dad. Beckett got the gist of it, which was basically that he needed surgery. He just kept breathing until they put him under so they could operate.

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“Beck? Are you awake?”

Beckett blinked once. Twice. Three times. He still felt a little bit muddled. “Yeah, but I’m a little out of it.”

His dad nodded. “The doctor said that might happen. It’s probably the lingering effects of the anesthesia, but it could also be the pain meds.”

Beckett blinked again, registering the lack of pain in his leg. Then he registered something else. “Dad?”

“What is it?”

“Dad, I can’t bend my knee.”

 “Well, no, but it’s just temporary. You’ll have some physical therapy, and you’ll be able to bend it again pretty soon. It’ll probably be six to eight weeks before you can put any weight on it, though.”

Beckett stared at his father, as his still-foggy brain slowly processed the implications of that statement. “Dad, how am I supposed to play soccer if I can’t put weight on my leg?”

His dad made eye contact, even as those eyes welled up with tears. “You can’t. And I know… your offer from the Llamas is conditional on this final season. I’m sorry, but you’re not going to be able to finish out the season, and depending on the severity of the injury, you may not even be able to play next year.”

Beckett wanted to bury his head in his hands, but as one of those hands was inconveniently attached to an IV, he settled for closing his eyes. “How long?”

“For now, just focus on recovering. You should be able to resume normal activities within six months, although of course we'll have to wait and see about heavy exercise…”

“Dad. Please just give me a straight answer. How long until I can play soccer?”

“Beckett… depending on the severity of the injury… you may never  play soccer again.”

Author's Note: You do not want to know the amount of time I spent looking up the after-effects and recovery time of patellar fractures. Also, ignore that picture where Beckett's arm is buried in the ground. Next chapter is longer, but it has more pictures.