Chapter 4.7 - Worried

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Willow, I’m your big sister. It’s my job to worry about you.” Amanda crossed her arms, looking as determined as Willow had ever seen her. “I wish I could do more, but making sure you’re alright is a must.”

Willow sighed. “I promise I’m fine. A little overworked, maybe, but nothing worse than that. But I’ll be going on maternity leave soon, and believe it or not, Flora’s a big help around the house.”

Amanda still looked concerned. “Are you sure? Because…” she paused, looking embarrassed. “Look, if you need money…”

“I’m financially solvent, Amanda. Besides, I’d think you’d be stretched thin enough as it is.”

She sighed. “Oh, I am, but I’m really the only one of us who’s in a stable position right now, so I thought I should offer.”

Willow shook her head. “I promise you, I’m doing fine. Why don’t you sit down and tell me everything that’s been going on with you? Believe it or not, I’m worried about you, too.”

Amanda laughed. “I’m okay. Maxwell keeps me sane, and I finally sold my book, so we’re in a little better shape than we used to be. The twins are teething, though, so I’m running on fumes as far as sleep goes, and I’m concerned about Serena.”

“Is she still living with you?”

“Yeah, and she doesn’t seem to be making any effort to find her own place. I’m happy to have her, of course, but it isn’t a big house, and with the twins, we really need all the space we can get. But I’m sure she’ll move out eventually. You’re sure you’re okay?”

Willow rolled her eyes. “Yes, Amanda. I’m pregnant, not an invalid. There’s nothing to be worried about.”

“If you’re sure…”

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For all her reassurances to Amanda, Willow was worried. She was extremely happy about being pregnant, of course. She’d always wanted a family of her own, one that she could make better than the one she’d had when she was a child.

But sometimes she just had a vague feeling of unease. No matter what she did, she felt like there was something wrong. She couldn’t tell what it was, but there was something… off. She had never been the paranoid sort, but she was starting to think that maybe someone was watching her.

She tried to ignore the feeling, but there wasn’t much else to think about. She’d been sent home on maternity leave from her physically intense work relatively early in her pregnancy, and she’d told the truth when she’d said Flora was useful around the house.

Lately, she’d been doing a lot of cooking, just for a lack of anything else to do. Surprisingly, she really enjoyed it. It was a good stress-reliever.

She felt restless lately. She’d tried to meditate, but it didn’t seem to work for her the way it usually did. She found herself caught up in her thoughts, incapable of emptying her mind. She’d tried running, but she could never seem to go fast enough. Sometimes she would wake up in the middle of the night, feeling a need to move, to go fast, to get away. She couldn’t tell what the problem was. 

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Flora was the only one who was unconditionally excited about Willow’s pregnancy.

“Tracy just got a little sister, and she showed everybody pictures for our ‘My Family’ project last week. Babies are so cute! And I told everybody about how you’re gonna have a baby, and Tracy said I could come over to see the baby if I wanted, so I could know what babies are like before you have one.”

Willow smiled at her excited niece. “I think you’ll find that babies aren’t terribly exciting until they get older. But they are cute, aren’t they?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes!” Then she paused for a moment.

“Willow?”

“Yes, Flora?”

“Obviously you’re not my mother, but this baby… it’ll be like a little brother or sister for me, won’t it?”

“If you want it to be.”

Flora grinned and gave Willow a big hug. “Thank you! I’ve always wanted to be a big sister!”

She also liked to talk to the baby. She told Willow that she couldn’t listen, this was “just for the baby,” but Willow listened anyway, amused and sometimes touched by the advice Flora felt the need to bestow on her baby “sibling”.

She almost cried one day when she heard Flora say, “And Willow will always love you, even if other people don’t.”

She wanted to tell Flora not to worry, that anyone with that much love to give would always find people who would love them back; but she didn’t, because she wasn’t supposed to be listening.

But, if nothing else, Flora loved the baby, and Willow was sure that the baby would love her back.

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As the weeks wore into months, Flora watched Willow get bigger and bigger. When Willow had first told her she was pregnant, Flora had wondered how a whole baby could possibly fit into the tiny bulge of Willow’s belly. Now she found herself wondering how big the baby was going to be. She’d gone to see Tracy's baby sister, but she'd only been a few months old, and Tracy said that babies grew really fast. She didn’t know how big the baby would be when it was born.

She had also said that her mother had been really tired all the time when she was pregnant, but Flora knew that Willow wasn’t tired. She was always moving, even more than usual, and she seemed to radiate energy.

So it was a shock the day Flora came home from school and found Willow lying on the ground.

“Willow?”

“Willow!”

Author's Note: I'm back! And on a cliffhanger, too. I have the next three chapters all written out, so as long as I can find the motivation to go in and take pictures, it shouldn't take me another six months to get them out. I have most of the pictures for the next chapter already, so at the very least I should be able to resolve the cliffhanger before I disappear into the void again. If you're wondering why I'm updating this and not the Peregrines, the answer is I put a lot of work into this and I'm extremely committed to finishing it. I've decided that I'm probably going to take fewer pictures for future chapters (I might have said this before, I don't remember) because it makes it easier on me to get everything done and uploaded in a reasonable period of time without having to jump between five saves that exist solely for pictures. Anyway, next time: the cliffhanger is resolved and there might be a baby!