Generation 1, Chapter 11 - Nyx

Before we start: I published three chapters at once today. This is the second one. It's very important that you read them in order! The chapters are listed in order on my chapter list. The first chapter posted today was chapter 10.

Nyx spent a lot of time alone in her house nowadays. She didn't really mind most of the time, but today… today she was a little bit lonely. She didn't really like being alone. She spent too much of her childhood by herself for the experience to ever be relaxing.

When Lee and the kids were home in the evenings, she was happy. There was nothing she loved more than having her family around her, making her feel safe and loved. When they were with her, she never felt scared. Well… almost never.

It was when she was alone that the panic came on.

She had hoped that the fear would just go away one day, when it became obvious there was nothing to be afraid of. Unfortunately, it had just gotten worse. She could tell herself that her father wasn't looking for her. Her father was probably dead by now. Even he couldn't live forever. She could try to convince herself that Lee wouldn't leave her. He was loyal to the bone, and they'd been together for more than ten years now.

But some tiny treacherous part of her brain always whispered “What if?” Even if she ever managed to get rid of her constant worries, new fears cropped up every day. The world was a scary place, and it grew worse by the day. The whole world outside her front door was something to be feared, something to protect herself from. The voice in her mind that told her to be on her guard grew louder and louder until she inevitably broke down, consumed by fear.

She would lock herself in her bedroom, the only place that she felt was completely safe. She would curl up on her bed and breathe until she felt like she was okay… at least until the panic came on again.

She tried to always be doing something. Inactivity seemed to make the fear worse. But her house was small, and there wasn't a lot to do. She cleaned, but eventually there was nothing left to clean. She upgraded their household appliances, but eventually there was nothing else to upgrade. She watched TV, but she could only handle so much daytime television.

She had some little things she did that usually helped. She checked that the door was locked every time she walked past it. She closed the blinds. It was dark, but that was better than having to see outside. It was dangerous outside, and she’d rather not even be reminded of danger. She washed Lee and the kids’ clothes until all she could smell was soap, none of the taint of the outside.

She was better when other people were home, but she still worried sometimes.

“Sam? Where are you going?”

He didn't even glance at her. “Out.”

“Well, that's obvious, but out where?”

“Does it really matter?”

“I want to know.”

“That means no. See you later, Nyx.”

He walked out, leaving Nyx rattled. Maybe all this time she'd spent battling her own irrational fears had distracted her from the very real problems brewing in her own home.

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Nyx was sitting at the table when Dylan came home from school. It was his thirteenth birthday today. She’d made a point of remembering. She’d even ordered a present online. From now on, she was going to be the perfect mother. From now on, she would battle through her fears for her children. Yes, from now on…

“Hi, Mom! I brought some friends home from school with me. I know you don’t like it, but I thought maybe, since it’s my birthday… Mom?”

Nyx was staring at the intruders. Strangers. In her home. They’d brought the outside world into her home, her safe place. Her thoughts began to rush ahead too fast for her to stop them. They were the children of her father's spies. No, they were her father's spies. They were spies and they probably had weapons and they were infected with diseases and they'd already gotten to Dylan and now they had infected the house and if she wasn't careful they'd get her too!

“Mom! Mom please, say something, you're scaring me! Mom? I'm going to get Dad. He'll… he'll know what to do. Just… just stay here, I guess?”

“Dad! Dad, where are you?”

Neither Nyx nor Dylan noticed Dylan's friends slip out the door.

“Nyx? Nyx, look at me. Are… are you there? Please look at me. Nyx? Nyx, I'm sorry, but I… I have to call someone. I need to get you some help.”

Nyx surfaced, just for a moment. Help? Yes, she needed help.

And maybe… just maybe, it was better this way.

Author's Note: Please don't hate me, guys. Further notes at the end of the next chapter, so carry on! The next chapter is a beast, though, so actually don't carry on unless you have the time to read approximately five pages worth of text with only about 25 pictures.